Month: April 2018

How To Keep Your Writing Functional And Fashionable

Fake pockets are the bane of my fashionable existence. Nothing’s worse than going to stash my bank card or chapstick, only to encounter resistance. No pocket for you! It’s a disappointment, to say the least. Words can scarcely describe the letdown. Don’t let this same thing happen in your writing! You should be aware of Fake Pocket Syndrome (FPS), to avoid irritating your readers and turning them off of your story.

Fake pockets promise, but don’t deliver. So your hero is a tough manly man who finds himself relying on the aid of a sultry vixen to accomplish his mission. The entire book is rife with sexual tension, but in the end, the two shake hands and part ways like old drinking buddies. I call FPS!…

Those were the days…

We were young, 15 maybe? and thus had little idea of the concepts of mortality and moderation. Young and in our rebellious stage, we were a steadfast band jokingly referred to by friends and classmates as The Three Musketeers; I’m sure our teachers and enemies had less-friendly names for us than that.

I was the dark one, the sole brunette–when it came to an argument, they’d usually side against me in a show of blonde solidarity, but then I would remind them who ranked highest (it was always the girl with the biggest cup size–and my C’s outranked both their A’s put together), and they gave in. I provided the bank and the ideas, the excuses and the plans. I had the outfits and the easy access and made liberal use of them all.

Janet was the bitch, the dirty-blonde, always cool and using her surprising intellect and mile-long legs to intimidate. During the week, we’d usually head to her house after school; it had the best munchies and biggest t.v., and a lock on the basement door when her kid brother got out of hand. She was the one we’d send into the convenience store to buy cigarettes; she’s the one with the laser stare.…

I Wrote That Book about GED Prep and Lists

Last week, I drank a lot of coffee. This week, I have drunk a significant amount less. No reason for it, it’s just the way life has happened this week.

I have reached a point in this week – Tuesday, I know – where I’m already exhausted. I have been sitting here for a while, on my couch, watching internet videos when I probably should have been doing homework. I’m lacking motivation, though, and I have also had a strong desire lately to create something new. To write a new post, or book, or song, or scream in a video or something, but there is never any time. Work, school, work, school, homework, work, school, maybe sleep, repeat.…